


Jumper

by PaulineHolmes02



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angry John Watson, Angry Sherlock Holmes, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Boys Kissing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt John Watson, John Watson's Jumpers, M/M, Mycroft Holmes & Sherlock Holmes Feels, Sherlock Being an Idiot, Sherlock Holmes is a Bit Not Good, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Kissing, Sherlock Needs A Hug, Sherlock Texting, Sherlock is a Brat, Sherlock is a Mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 21:52:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16921068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaulineHolmes02/pseuds/PaulineHolmes02
Summary: After the massive fight over the damaged jumper John leaves the Baker Street. What is Sherlock going to do when he's left alone? Will John come back?





	1. Chapter 1

" SHERLOCK!!!!" John's loud voice roared from the kitchen. 

 

'Oops, he knows...' Sherlock thought as he crouched on the couch. What is he going to do? 

John rushed into the living room, red in his face. He looked a bit angry. " What is that?" He stuck the thing in front of flatmate's face. 

" A jumper?" Sherlock stated, raising an eyebrow. If it wasn't such a serious moment, he would find it funny. But it wouldn't be, because this was John's favourite jumper, the oatmeal cable-knit one. He knew John loved it. 

It was surprising that there wasn't a steam coming out of John's ears. " I see it's a jumper, I'm not blind... But THIS!" He pointed on the huge hole in the middle part. 

The detective tried to keep his voice calm and steady, but inside he was trembling. " Um... That's a burned hole I guess." 

John's nostrils widened with a rage, he looked like a lion in the cage. " SHERLOCK, I'm really not in the mood for your stupid puns!" 

" Stupid puns? What do you mean? I'm not the one who writes kitschy, trashy and pathetic stories about 'just two of us against all world..." The detective sneered, he didn't want to look like a desperate wretch. But inside, he cursed himself into blinking idiots. 

John's eyes widen, he looked so hurt. " WHAT? Why are you meddling with that! Those pathetic stories, as you're saying, are living you, you utter idiot! You'd be in the gutter!" He yelled at him. 

" Well, it seems that you're in the gutter when you're crying over old jumper!" The detective noted. 

" What if it wasn't just an ordinary jumper? It was so important to me!" 

Sherlock struggled to make a nasty grin. He didn't want to hurt him, but he was so scared... " Really? Did you get it from a tooth fairy?" 

John looked so startled as he reached his fingers to his temples. " Shut your mouth! You know nothing!" 

Sherlock folded his arms on his chest. " Anything else you want to get off your chest?" 

" Thanks to you, my life is a living hell!" John waved his hands furiously as he yelped. 

" Then tell me how am I supposed to be!" Sherlock yelled, frustrated. He didn't know what to do. He was trying, but as it seemed, it wasn't enough. 

" What about giving a try to act like a human?"  John screamed and curled his hands into fists. 

Sherlock flinched uncontrollably, those words cut him like a knife. He could survive when they told him this thing, everyone but John. " Why do you even bother then?" 

But it was nothing compared to next words John let out of his angry mouth. " I don't know... Maybe I thought that you would be different, not like everyone talks about. I misjudged you!" 

Suddenly, Sherlock's vision turned red. He couldn't take it anymore. " Where would you be without me? You would do nothing but sitting on your butt in a little room of yours, limping and whining about the tremor of your left hand! "  Sherlock pressed his hand to his mouth, horrified. He immediately wanted to take his words back, he knew that he had gone too far. " John... I'm sorry... I didn't - " 

John's eyes sparkled and he was trembling all over his body. " Shut up! SHUT THE FUCK UP! I could break your nose if I want to! One little word and I'm gonna do it! It was so important to me! But you can never understand this, you insufferable selfish machine! No wonder nobody likes you! " He shrieked and strode towards the door, stomping loudly, preparing to leave the house. 

Sherlock's throat tightened and his stomach flinched. " Where are you going?" He choked and began to panic. 'No, he's leaving! What have I done! John please, don't!!' 

" Keep your shitty nose out of my fucking business! " John snapped venomously and turned on his heel. 

Sherlock flew through the room, trying to stop his angry boyfriend. " No John, wait, I'm..." John slapped the door in front of his face.   
" Sorry," Sherlock whispered into the wood and leaned his head against the door. 

* * *

  
Sherlock kept waiting and waiting, but John didn't come back. He expected he will come back, but as the minutes went by, he was feeling more and more down. What has he done? He always wanted to be a good man... 

 

To : JOHN   
Today 10:21 PM   
John, where are you? - SH 

 

To : JOHN   
Today 10:25 PM   
John, come back - SH 

 

To : JOHN   
Today 10:26 PM   
Can you get a milk? We ran out - SH 

 

To : JOHN   
Today 10:28 PM   
Or you don't have to... We don't need it that urgently - SH 

 

To : JOHN 

Today 10:29 PM   
Forget that I said that. I didn't mean it - SH 

 

To : JOHN   
Today 10:40 PM   
John, please, come home - SH 

 

To : JOHN   
Today 11:00 PM   
Can you just tell me where are you? - SH 

 

To : JOHN 

Today 11:06 PM

John? - SH

 

To : JOHN   
Today 11:08 PM   
John, you're scaring me! 

 

To : JOHN 

Today 11:11 PM  
JOHN! - SH

 

To : JOHN 

Today 11:14 PM 

JAWN! - SH 

 

To: JOHN   
Today 10:19  
John, I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! 

 

To: JOHN   
Today 11:27  
Take your time, just answer me, please. Just let me know if you're okay. 

 

From : JOHN   
Today 11:52 PM   
I'm at Harry, I don't know when I'll come back and I'm not sure if I want to at all... 

 

Sherlock stared on his phone at least five minutes, his head completely empty. John didn't want him anymore... How could he ever think that somebody could love him? Or care about him at least? A huge wave of self-loathing almost suffocated him. They were right about me, they always were. After all, I'm an only sociopath, freak, emotionless machine... 

Suddenly, Sherlock felt unbearable urge to get high on something, absolutely anything. Escape from reality, from all this misery. His left arm twitched, he couldn't stop the shake of his limb. The small voice inside his head kept whispering that John would be so disappointed. And Mycroft too. Mycroft... 

He dialled his number before he could change his mind. His heartbeat grew faster and so his breath. His brother answered after the second ring. 

" Hello, Brother Mine... To what do I owe you this pleasure? What brings you to call me in those night hours?" Responded his elder brother and although he sounded sarcastic, he was worried. This could mean only one thing. 

Sherlock took a deep, shaking breath. " Hi, Myc. Can you come, please?" 

" I'll be there in a minute... " Mycroft said, quickly hung up. His little brother needed him. 

* * *

Mycroft came into the living room and leaned his ever-present umbrella over the wall. 

" You look quite good... " Sherlock stated.   
Mycroft almost choked himself. What happened to him? Where was his cheeky sneer? He took a good look at him." I wish I could tell you the same..." 

His brother was sitting on the floor. He rested his chin on his knees, which were pressed to his chest. He looked so young and tiny, suddenly he was a little boy again. Memories about comforting his crying little brother when he was called such horrible nicknames in school never left his mind. 

Sherlock fixed his blurry unidentifiable eyes into Mycroft's greyish ones. " He's away, My!" He whispered, his voice was shaking.   
Mycroft passed through the room and bent next to him. " What happened, Sherlock?" He asked softly. 

" John... He... He doesn't want me anymore..." Sherlock whined and buried his head in his hands. 

" Come on, you really don't believe that, do you?" Mycroft asked, hoping that his brother didn't think such little about himself. 

Sherlock began to tremble." I'm not even surprised! If I was him, I wouldn't want me either... I have to be cursed! I'm so repulsive for everyone! Who could care about such a freak!" He gave out a hateful scream. 

Mycroft's eyes widened in a shock. He hated this word, Sherlock suffered badly in the past, wasn't it enough? " What are you talking about? You're not a freak, Sherlock... Did John call you like that?" 

" No... But I'm sure he thinks it... After what I've done... I've done something horrible, Myc and I don't know how to fix it..." Sherlock was suddenly so vulnerable, he looked like he was on the edge of the breakdown. 

" Just tell me, Brother Mine, you'll feel better," Mycroft told him and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

John stepped inside the 221B flat on Baker Street. He hanged his coat and took off his boots. He looked incredibly tired and insecure, he lost about two pounds and he couldn't sleep very well. But he couldn't imagine his life without that git. 

 

He came to the living room and his mouth wide opened. He almost didn't recognise it. He felt as if he was in a completely different house, it didn't look like their flat. He stepped inside their living room and gasped. It was ... tidy. 

 

It looked so organised, empty. Pillows were nicely folded on the couch, instead of laying on the carpet. The coffee table was covered with a red spread, all the mess (like papers, pencils and human parts) from it was away. The books which were always situated all over the place were ordered in a bookcase. There wasn't even one thing on the floor which wouldn't belong there, somebody had to hoover the carpet. somebody wiped the dust and hoovered a carpet. 

 

The kitchen looked alike - at that time it was a pigsty room, it was rather a laboratory than a room for preparing a food. When John came in, he couldn't believe his eyes. Tiles were swept and mopped, the trash was emptied. There were no test tubes and flasks filled with chemicals on their kitchen table or any dirty dishes in the sink. Kitchen unit used to be smudged, now it was shining with clearness. John took a sharp breath and rushed to the fridge, took the handle and opened it sharply. The disappointment almost knocked him down. 

He was HOPING to find some nasty foot, or one little pinky would be enough! Nothing... 

Hold on... Is it a... milk? 

 

John was beginning to panic, all anger was away, there was only fear. This wasn't normal... Where's Sherlock? Did something happen to him? The most horrible scenarios attacked his mind, what if he was hurt? 

 

The doctor tripped over his own foot and almost fell over as he darted towards the staircase, running into the first floor. 

 

* * *

 

He flew up the stairs to the second floor and opened the door into his room. His bedroom looked just like he had left it five days ago. His jeans were thrown over his chair, the book he was currently reading laid on the desk, right next to his UNTOUCHED notebook. And in his unfolded bed was... 

 

"Sherlock!" John exclaimed. 

 

The detective was laying in John's bed, curled into the ball. He was clasping something in his embrace, like clenching in it for a dear life. John took a better look at him. It was some dark blue stuff with red stripe and little white spots. ' Oh, God ... It's my Christmas jumper...' John realised. 

 

Hearing that beautiful, gentle voice calling his name woke Sherlock up immediately, he would recognise it even in the death. He opened his eyes quickly and widely. A huge wave of relief filled every cell in his body, he came back! He didn't leave me! Even though I was such a disgusting fool! 

Then he realised something. What if John doesn't want to live with me anymore? What if he came to take his things and move out? It would be more possible... 

 

" Would you mind if I'd keep that? Just this one thing, please... I just want to imagine that you're still here. That you still love me... " Sherlock asked in a little voice. He had dark bags under his eyes, he looked thinner than he was before he left, his cheekbones protruding in his white face. 

John stared at him as he had grown the second head. " What? What are you blabbering about?" 

 

Sherlock jumped out of his boyfriend's bed and grabbed his arm. He looked scared. " You're leaving me... You came here to take your stuff...didn't you?"

 

John smiled, confused. Throw Sherlock, Baker Street and all their adventures away? Never! " You silly... Why would I do that? "

 

" Because you don't want me anymore... I deserve it, I treated you so horribly... " Sherlock whined and his lower lip began to tremble. He looked like he was about to cry. But Sherlock Holmes never cries, does he? 

 

John rushed to him and pressed him against his chest, wrapping his muscular arms around his thin ducked figure.  " How could such a stupid nonsense come on your brilliant mind, Sherlock? Do you really think that I'm going away from you? " John's little smile faded. 

 

" It's all my fault! I'm so sorry, John! I've never meant to say what I've said! Your blog is awesome and I owe you so much ... no one would want my help it wasn't you... Only you keep me right... And I've ruined it, because I was so scared to show some emotions... I don't deserve you... Such a horrible, selfish freak doesn't belong to someone as you are!" Sherlock's raised voice was shaking and it broke on that awful word that John hated. He let out a painful sob and buried his head between John's neck and shoulder. 

 

John froze in shock, his body stiffened.  " Sherlock, you're not a freak! What gave you that stupid idea?" 

 

" I know it! Everyone thinks that! And I won't blame you if you'll think it too... You're too good for me. " Sherlock croaked, pulled out of the loving embrace and huge tears bulged in his eyes. 

 

What? 

 

Oh, God... 

 

The words echoed in his mind. 'No wonder nobody likes you! You insufferable selfish machine! Try to act like a human!' 

 

John grabbed Sherlock's beautiful cheekbones with his small palms, stroking them with his thumbs. " Sherlock, I'm so sorry for giving you that impression... I love you so much and nothing is going to change this. Of course, it hurt me very much and I was furious, but it doesn't mean that I'm leaving..."

 

" But I hurt you so much, JOHN! What I've said about your leg and everything... You must hate me! I do... Please, forgive me... " The detective trembled and his eyes were puffy and sparkling. 

 

John smiled slightly, how could such a magnificent bright man not understand this?  " Do you really think that I would stop loving you because of some stupid fight and even more stupid jumper?"

 

Sherlock was mute for a long time and then he blurted out. " It wasn't on purpose! I never meant to damage your beloved beautiful jumper!" 

 

John pressed his finger on his lips and then caressed his cheek. " Sherlock, calm down... Just tell me what happened, okay?" 

 

Sherlock took a long, deep breath and then he shot John with his confession. " It was an accident, John. Donovan and Anderson were so insufferable and you were away so long and I felt lonely... " Sherlock's cheeks flushed pink as he sighed heavily. 

 

" Take it easy, Lock," John whispered asked he tried to calm him down. 

 

The detective nodded shakily. "So I borrowed your jumper. It helps me to forget about unkind words. I had some work in the lab and it slipped out of my mind I was still wearing it. And that acid I was working with... my tube cracked and I burnt myself... John, I'm sorry for your jumper - "

 

His fast tirade was cut off by John's scared voice. 

 

" Damn my jumper!" John's yell made Sherlock jump. " Why you didn't tell me? You could've been injured! " He absolutely didn't care about his clothes, he was glad it was the sweater and not his boyfriend. What if he has a big burn all over his stomach? 

 

" Yeah, but I'm not, only a clothing was burnt... " Sherlock whispered and lowered his sight. 

 

John looking into his marvellous eyes filled with anxiety and tears. " Oh, Sherlock, I'm so glad you're alright... There's no reason to be scared. I'm okay, you're okay, we're okay..." Mumbled John as he tucked him in a hug. " Which doesn't change the fact that I'm still angry about your words... But I think that I couldn't live without you... " He spoke softly and began to wadle them back and forth. 

 

* * *

 

" Sherlock?" The doctor said after a couple of minutes. 

 

" Hm? " Sherlock hummed as he lifted his head from John's shoulder. 

 

" What's that? " John asked and nodded his head in the direction towards his bed.

 

Sherlock's heart dropped. He immediately replaced uncomfortable face with one without interest. " You mean this? Um... It's nothing, just a rag. I wiped the dust with-"

John bent down and took the fabric into his hand. " That..." Finished Sherlock. 

 

The doctor didn't hear a word. He kept staring on the thing in his hands. Oh God did Sherlock..." Oh Sherlock, is it your work? Did you knit this on your own?" 

 

" Well, that's... it was supposed to be a jumper... I... I wanted to throw it away...I tried so hard, I did my best to make this... To compensate a little bit you that yours which I've damaged... I hoped it would look good but... I failed..." Sherlock's voice faded as he admitted his failure. 

 

John's knees buckled. He turned his head to meet his face, there were tears in his eyes. " Lock, that's the most gorgeous jumper I've ever gotten!"

 

Sherlock bent down next to John and looked at him, completely amazed. " Hold on, do you really like it? But it's ugly... " He couldn't understand it. 

 

" Well, it's unsightly a little bit, but you made it with your own hands which it makes so beautiful... Thank you." John wrapped his arms around Sherlock's waist and pressed a kiss on his cheek. 

 

Actually, the jumper was more than unsightly. It was shapeless, irregular and holey, but John was absolutely stunned. Sherlock gave up his precious time and instead of a solving crime, he knitted him a jumper in exactly the same colour as the previous one. 

" Hold on, that clean kitchen and living room, it was you?" John realised. 

 

Sherlock nodded shyly. " I just wanted you to be happy."

 

" Sherlock, I AM happy. I'm the happiest man in the world..." John whispered into his ear and stoked Sherlock's curls. 

 

" John? Can I ask you something?"

 

" Go on." The questioned one smiled at him. 

 

Sherlock crumbled his hands in the nervous motion. " You've said that jumper was very important for you... I wonder why? But... You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. "

 

John's cheeks flushed pink. " Well... It's a jumper I wore the first day we met... That's why I loved this clothes so much... It reminded me of you." He admitted. 

 

" So when I wrecked it..."

 

The doctor ruffled his blonde hair. " It bore down on me, I began to have little doubts... But now... It doesn't matter. Because of this. " John pointed on the knitted cloth and took it on. It was too big for him, he would fit in two times at least. 

 

Sherlock couldn't help but smile at the sight of his little boyfriend in a baggy top he had made. He stroked John's cute round cheek and let his own hand slip down. " John... I... I'm a horrible, ridiculous and incredibly selfish and annoying person. But I'll change for you, I swear. I know I'm a work in the progress but I'm trying..."

 

John shook his head and the laugh bubbled through his lips. He took the hem of the foiled jumper and lifted it to drape it over Sherlock's head and he snuggled him closer as he covered both of them in the jumper. " Shush! I don't want you to change, you silly..." He leaned his forehead against his, lowering his voice into a half whisper. "I love you just the way you are, Sherlock, your beautiful eyes which will never stop fascinating me, your soft curly hair... I love your bloody experiments, human parts in the fridge, your amazing deductions, even your insults because I know you don't mean them... "

 

Sherlock gave him the most innocent look. " Well, I do sometimes... "

 

" Of course..." John smirked. What a cheeky git..." What I want to say is that you have some characteristics which aren't very nice, but come on - everybody has! Remember that nobody's perfect... "

 

" You are. " The detective whispered with no signs of sarcasm. John let out a giggle. 

 

" Me? What are you talking about? I'm such a hothead and you know that. I'm sorry that I'm grumpy and I kick off at you sometimes... But don't be afraid, you're not going to lose me. Even the most stupid thing that will ever leave your insulting mouth will never make me to leave. You won't be able to get rid of me so easily... " John grinned as he threw up his arms around Sherlock's slender torso and tilted his head on a side. 

 

Sherlock smiled in a reply, his face seemed clearer. " I wouldn't even think about it ..." Then he choked, his face gone unsure. " John... I... I'm not good in that but... You should know that I... I've never been in a relationship with anyone... So I don't know how it works sometimes... But I'm a quick learner and... I love you, Jawn... "

 

The doctor took the detective's chin and drew him closer, squeezing him slightly. " I know, Lock... I love you too, you precious git." John mumbled before he leaned over and closed the gap between their lips. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my readers.  
> I'm so sorry for the beginning, I know it was quite cruel from me and Sherlock. I hope that I've compensated it a little bit with the second part.  
> Thank you for the reading, comments and kudos. :) 
> 
> Yours  
> PaulineHolmes02

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think? Will John come back to Sherlock? :)


End file.
